


Persuading the Enemy

by emillywinter



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Masturbation, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-03 13:53:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13342620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emillywinter/pseuds/emillywinter
Summary: After one particularly boring day, Izaya is watching his neighbors fucking each other. Still virgin at 24, he tries to explain sex as something that he didn’t have any interest in. But he has to wander, and soon he decides to see what is so good about it. After understanding that he wants Shizu-chan, it only remains for Izaya to think of a plan that is going to persuade his enemy to have an actual sex with him.





	1. Chapter 1

Persuading the Enemy  
Chapter 1

 

It was a regular, boring day in both Ikebukuro and in Shinjuku. It was one of those days when nothing happened. With the cup of dark coffee in his hands famous information broker was logging of from his chat room and turning around on his desk chair in order to see the end of yet another day. Behind his window he could note the street and on it little people that looked like tiny ants. He was so bored that even the prospect of visiting “Russian Sushi” and trying to see what his infamous monster was doing wasn’t working for him. So, when the day turned into the night, he took his binoculars from the desk drawer and starter to pointlessly look out on his little humans.

However, what grabbed his attention wasn’t on the street. It was behind the one of the windows attached to the building across the road. Some woman and what looked like her husband were fucking on their couch. “My, my, you have no shame, Kiyoko-san.” 

Of course he knew who those people were; after all, he was the best informant in the city. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop him from looking. He only wished that he had a bag of popcorns in order to better enjoy the view. 

The woman was moaning like a bitch, or at least he thoughts so from constant opening of her mouth. The man was behind her, pounding her with his entire strength. It was a normal sex that those two were having; perhaps in order to conceive a child. In Izaya Orihara’s mind, sex wasn’t something that was pleasurable and if it was, he didn’t know it. Still virgin at 24, he tried to explain sex as something that he didn’t have any interest in. 

Nevertheless, even he knew that it was a lie. After all, he didn’t have any explanation for constant spying, chasing, fighting, and then, safely in his empty apartment, masturbating with the thought of the hot monster. God only knew how many times this routine already happened. It always finished with Izaya jerking him self of with fingers tucked deep inside his ass and with Shizu-chan’s face on his mind. So, why not? Why wouldn’t he try to take things on another level? After all, if this many of his humans enjoy having someone else’s dick inside them, perhaps, it wasn’t so bad. 

With that he started to form a plan in his mind; something that would make Shizu-chan wanting to sleep with him. With the little smirk on his face he already knew the perfect way of doing it. However, although the plan was solid, it wasn’t without risks. If monster somehow found out that he was behind it, he will be planning a funeral. His own, of course. 

So, he started to search the Web in order to find those pictures, he knew that they existed; it was from a new movie and he had already seen them... Oh, right; there they were... Then, it only remained for him to type a note... While holding a chess peace in his hand, he started to type, but couldn’t help him self not to laugh as he looked at the little white king figurine.  
“Hehe, Shizu-chan, this is going to be interesting.”

 

Tomorrow morning, in Shizuo’s apartment, somewhere in Ikebukuro, a letter has been delivered. Shizuo was just getting ready for another day of working with Tom-san and beating some low-lives who owed money when the yellow envelope on the floor attracted his attention. He opened it and the buzzing sound started to pound in his ears. All he could see was red and all he could think about was killing someone.

There were two things in it, a note and the photograph. It was a picture of Kasuka sitting on a chair bounded and restrained. Shizuo could see the blood on his head, and he looked as he was in pain. Then, he looked at the note; it was typed and large letters were even more horrifying to him. On the note was written: We are watching you; you have 24 hours to fuck Orihara Izaya. If you don’t do it, your little brother dies. 

The rage was building inside him. He didn’t know how, but he knew it was Izaya’s doing. All of his instincts were telling him that. But then again, why would Izaya do something like that? It didn’t have any sense. He hated him, right? And the whole deal was worse for Izaya, as he would be the one taking it in. Fuck!

He stormed out of the building in the direction of Shinjuku. After all, Izaya was the smart one, he is the informant, and if needed, Shizuo was willing to pay for his services. He just knew that he needed to find his little brother and kill those people who took him. 

 

“Knock, knock” – Someone was knocking on Izaya’s door and the information broker perfectly knew who it was. He just had a shower, and with a wet hair and a crooked smile on his face he opened the door. On the other side of the door his eyes met angry looking Shizuo.

“My, my Shizu-chan, to what to I owe this pleasure? I see the door is in its place, so you must need something. Do you want to come inside?” Shizuo was annoyed about the whole situation, and the smirk on Izaya’s face didn’t help one bit. So, he just stepped around Izaya and walked into the apartment. 

“I need your help. Someone got Kasuka.” Even thought it was humiliating and unpleasant to ask for help, Shizuo needed to do it for his brother’s sake. So he put out his pride aside, and showed Izaya the photo. The note was safely inside his pocket, as he didn’t want Izaya to see what was written on it.

“I see Kasuka got him self kidnapped. So what do you need me for?” he asked with the big smile on his face. “Don’t tell me Shizu-chan that you need money. I have some, but why would I give it to you? I worked hard for it; you know, all that scheming, planning, destroying people’s lives, as you often put it. It pays really well, you should try it sometimes....”

Shizuo was now ready to punch the fucking flee in the face if he wouldn’t shut up. But one thought about his brother suffering somewhere was enough for him to stop himself; and Izaya continued. 

“You know, you are lucky. I feel generous, so I will give you one pro-bono advice. There is a new yakuza group in Ikebukuro. They are really notorious, you know, for killing, and torturing people. They probably have your brother, and if you don’t do as they say, I am certain that they would kill him. So, if not money, what do they want? Don’t tell me that the photo is your only clue.”

“I have a note, but you are not going to like it.” Shizuo was ready to throw the remaining pride out of the window as he slowly got the note from his pocket. He gave it to Izaya who calmly started to read.

It was amazing; Izaya didn’t thought that he will see the note again this soon. It was only the last night when he typed it. He barely managed not to laugh, but this situation was too much amusing to stop now. 

“So, why would you think that I would willingly help you out with this? I hate my self for saying, but Shizu-chan, it looks like your only option would be raping me at this point.” Izaya realized that he was walking on the thin line now. He had to play this just right if he wanted to have his head still attached on his shoulders. 

“I would need to get something in return if you want me to help you with this... If not, ether you turn into a raping monster or your brother dies... So what is going to be, Shizu-chan?”  
“Fine” Shizuo started almost biting his tongue of. “I won’t chase you out of Ikebukuro for a month.”

“Only a month? I must decline this offer. Good luck with your brother, and close the door on your way out.” Izaya finished really quickly.  
“Fine, what do you want?”  
“Aaaa, now we are on the same page, Shizu-chan. I would like to have a blank check; anything that I want, anytime that I want it. But, because I am a nice person, I would ask for only one thing. Is that ok for you, Shizu-chan?”

“Fine. So, how do you want to do this thing?” Shizuo finally asked but didn’t want to think what this thing meant.  
“My, my, in the bedroom, of course. I am not some animal like you to do it on the walls, or God knows where you do it. I will be waiting for you in the bed. Take a shower, and come inside. It is second door on the left.” With that Izaya stood up from his chair and left in the direction of the said room. Shizuo just remained there with opened mouth thinking that he was in a deep shit. Until this moment, he has never thought that the actual fucking would ever take place, but Izaya was agreeing, and it was a sacrifice for his brother's sake. Fuck!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Shizuo was showering in someone else’s bathroom, maybe for the first time in his life, and it just felt odd. The shampoo, the showering gel, and the soup; it all smelled like Izaya. The whole situation was just crazy to him. If he was really doing this, he wasn’t thinking straight. But, in some dreadful way, he felt excited, then repulsed by his own feelings, than horrified as the fact was – he didn’t really mind fucking Izaya. And, he just didn’t know what was happening to him. It all felt like some peace of dream, something taken away from the movie, book, or even some wretched TV novella. 

The water was falling on his shoulders. Was he really doing this? Fuck. What if he hurts the shitty flee? How does it even work between men? Ok, he knew that one. Just shove it up the ass. Right? Fuck. Wouldn’t that hurt? And how does one enjoy that? There were million questions inside his head, and the longer he thought about what was he going to do when he entered Izaya’s room, the more awkward it all felt. The only thing of which he was certain was that he wouldn’t want to hurt Izaya. Not like this; not when he was helping him. Then, again, why would he help him? Certainly not out of the goodness of his heart. It was the flee he was talking about. There was still that blank check thing that Izaya asked for. What would he even want, and what was worth of letting your enemy penetrate you? Shit. He was in there for at least 15 minutes now, and there was no point in dragging this thing out. 

With that thought he stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself in one of white fluffy towels that were neatly arranged on the shelf. There wasn’t any point in dressing him self up, so he just opened the bathroom door and went in the direction of Izaya’s room.

 

The door was opened and if this whole situation wasn’t odd enough, what he sow made the things even odder. Izaya was waiting in his bed, just like he said that he would. However, he was naked and spread along the black sheets like he was waiting to be devoured. There was something in his eyes, a sign of mischief, he was sure of that; but there was something more, something alluring, something that looked like a fire, want, but that wasn’t it, it was also something absurdly innocent, something that was calling for him. Shizuo wanted to say something, to make the whole situation less awkward, less tense, but the words lost their meaning with one look of Izaya’s bared legs, open like they were inviting him in. Izaya’s dick was already hard, and he had one of his hands wrapped around it. The two fingers of the other were deep inside his ass. 

Shizuo could feel his heart rate going up together with something else that created the budge inside the towel. He didn’t need to look down to understand that he was just as much painfully hard as Izaya was. He slowly went more towards the bed, and after few steps he slowly unwrapped the towel that soon found its place on the floor, completely forgotten. Even though he tried to convince him self that this was something that he didn’t want, he was well aware that it was a lie. The naked body in front him was an entity that he desired more than anything else in his life, and even if it belonged to Izaya, it didn’t change a thing. It only was more desirable because of it.

The Information broker was in more or less the same situation. However, he was well aware that he wanted Shizuo from the moment that he first saw him. Even if he couldn’t put the name tag on what he felt, the emotion has always been there. It was an emotion that was often painful; something that resembled the mix of unimaginable desire to posses and the need to belong. He wanted Shizuo to think only of him, to see only him, to be monster just for him. But it was never just platonic; the whole emotion was laced with something that was perverted and sexual. The need to have Shizuo inside him both in his body and in his soul wasn’t new to Izaya. Nevertheless, it was only yesterday that he decided that there wasn’t a point in waiting anymore. If he wanted something, he alone needed to take it, to make it his. 

For Izaya, Shizuo was very attractive man, human or the beast, it didn’t really matter, as long as his heart was trembling together, hand in hand, with his body in the name of the desire. One look at Shizuo’s naked form that was coming towards him was enough for Izaya to know that even if he didn’t get alive out of this, he still wasn’t regretting it. 

The kiss came painfully slow. Shizuo’s lips touched another with the slightest contact, as trying to decide whether or not they were poisons. Then, the tongue started to lick the edge of his mouth. Izaya was standing still, not taking a breath. After all, it was his first kiss. But the feeling of another’s lips on his own and the hidden desire to taste the tongue that was circling and wetting everything in the process, were what made him to do the same. He licked Shizuo’s mouth connecting their tongues and deepened the kiss, by pushing inside. 

The taste was strong, a bit bitter, and smelled like cigarettes, but it was Shizuo’s and the informant wanted to never stop doing what he was doing now, even if it meant never taking another breath. However, it ended too soon leaving the both of them still and just looking at each other’s eyes. The silence around them wasn’t demanding, it was natural, and even desired. Nether of them wanted to spoil the moment with words that weren’t needed, as they both felt how much special this whole act was. It was more than a kiss, more than a simple link between mouths. It was the connection between two souls; between fate and the destiny.

Shizuo’s heart was beating even faster, as he started to plant kisses along Izaya’s jaw, neck and chest. He went even more down, leaving the trail of wetness on Izaya’s skin. As his teeth scratched the hip, a loud moan was heard. It was a sound that made him shiver with want. He wanted to hear it more. He needed more of Izaya’s voice, more of Izaya. So, he moved even lower, only few inches away from the hard dick that was leaking with excitement. The hot breaths were sending electricity to the body beneath him. The smell he could feel was the same one that he felt million times when he was chasing Izaya around, but now it was stronger, more vivid. It made his dick even more hard. 

So, he put a gentle lick on the tip, collecting the pearl that formed on it. He then started to move his mouth alongside the vain. He was licking the entire length from bolls to the tip. He did this few times, and after every lick Izaya’s voice was more loud. Shizuo continued by putting the dick inside his mouth. He slowly sucked and tasted what was Izaya’s essence. The cock constantly leaked and Shizuo was sure that his own wasn’t any better. 

Skinny arms found its place in blond hair, but soon, wanting more, Shizuo pulled away and positioned himself between Izaya’s legs. The glowing of red light that beautify reflected inside Izaya’s eyes, his opened mouth, and the flushed face, were all asking for intrusion. It was more than clear that what started as a “game” to Izaya, and a “sacrifice” to Shizuo was so much more. Not only that both of them wanted this badly, but they needed at as well. It wasn’t wild, uncontrolled desire that led them to search each others eyes but something more pure; something that they didn’t understood yet; something that was hidden in the deepest depths of their souls. 

A gentle push was all that was needed in order for Shizuo to be buried inside Izaya. He could feel the softness and the heat radiating around his dick. He desired to look down; to see where their bodies were connected, but he still didn’t want to separate the invisible thread that banded their eyes. So, he just pulled a little bit and pushed again. He slowly moved in and out still looking in the redness that became his whole world. Shizuo pushed harder but still slow, like it was all just a seductive dance that they played. 

Izaya breathed loudly. The sweet was forming on his face and on his lower back. The feeling of being penetrated by someone was painful, and yet pleasurable; it was hot, and couldn’t be described as anything but the flaming knife entering him. He felt fuller with every push that Shizuo gave him, and he has never seen his enemy looking at him with this kind of look before. It was a mix of desire, want, pleasure and something more that Izaya couldn’t name. 

There was a smile on Shizuo face and his eyes sparked in a way that only stars could. Behind them he could see his entire soul, and he knew that what he felt for this man was nothing other than the love itself. 

Shizou’s pace grew faster and even more fierce. He was pushing more inside, deeper, more intense; he was becoming one with Izaya. The bubble started to build inside him, to grow, to expend even more than ever before. So, he grabbed Izaya’s dick in his hand and started to jerk in time with his thrusts. While doing so, he was still looking deep inside his enemy’s eyes. After hearing out one particularly loud moan that looked like a scream, and sensing Izaya contracting around him, he filled another’s body with his essence. 

They came at the same time while looking inside each other’s souls. So, they both knew that this wasn’t fucking, that this wasn’t sex. It was painfully clear what it was; but still, nether of them said a word. Shizuo pulled out and rearranged their bodies so that he could feel Izaya’s back on his chest. He put one of his arms around his waist and simply held him there. The seconds turned into minutes and in a complete silence the sleep overtook them.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

With the first light Shizuo opened his eyes and found himself in an unknown room that didn’t belong to him. He was naked and entangled with sheets; but after one look at the body next to him, the realization had hit him. Everything that happened, the letter, the photograph, the note, Izaya, the sex; it all became clear to him. The absurdity of the whole situation made him question his sanity, but even HE couldn’t deny the beauty in what happened with Izaya. He was his enemy, he knew that, but the redness in those eyes belonged to someone else, perhaps, to the real person behind all of these masks. Thus, the whole thing made Shizuo painfully confused. 

He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do in this situation. Should he just leave? Or should he pretend to sleep until Izaya wakes? So, he stood up from the bad, and went to the bathroom. First thing first, and it this case, it was a bathroom. After pissing and putting his pants on, he went in the direction of what he considered to be Izaya’s kitchen. That is what they do in the movies, right? After sex you make the breakfast. It made sense to him. 

He banged up few eggs and put them in the pan; when the thought crossed his mind. He didn’t try to call Kasuka. Thus, he grabbed the phone from his front pocket and dialed the number. Even though it was early, down really, he needed to know if he was ok. Few seconds after, the sleepy, but monotone voice answered.

“Hey, are you ok? Did they release you?” he started to talk really fast, but soon the same unemotional voice stopped him.  
“What are you talking about? Did who release me?” At that moment Shizuo’s blood started to slowly boil. Second after second, realizing the inevitable, he was getting angrier. His mind started to put together all the puzzle pieces and the phone in his hand just cracked. 

“Iza-ya!!!” he started to shout taking the first thing in his hand, which was in this case the pan, and headed up straight to the Izaya’s room. The sleeping form in the bed started to move a little, confused with the shouting when it was faced with scrambled eggs which ended up all over him. The pan hit the wall behind his head leaving the ugly mark.

“Oh, I see that you found out. Nevertheless, I would appreciate if you would stop throwing things at me, at least as long as I have your sperm inside my ass. It is all gross, and I am sticky.” Izaya was being Izaya, and Shizuo was ready to murder him. But the words he said were ringing in his head. That was right; they had sex yesterday, if you can call it that. It was more like love making. Shit. What? Love making? Shit. He wasn't right in his head. If he didn’t get out from this place, he was sure Izaya would be dead. So, he turned around and only in his pants started to do the walk of shame.

____________________________________ 

Izaya was still lying on his bed, now covered with eggs. He knew this would happen; even the monster wasn’t stupid enough not to connect the dots. One phone call to Kasuka would be enough to do that. But as soon as memories of the previous day came to his mind, he was feeling regretful. Perhaps, he went too far, with involving Shizuo’s brother. Nevertheless, he still had the audacity to tell him self that it was worth it. After all, what he has done with Shizuo was more special than he could ever hoped for. And, he knew that any other plan of persuasion would never work. 

So, he stood up and went to the shower. As he already said, the sperm was still in his ass and he was all gross, and sticky. He slowly walked to the bathroom, his lower back hurt a bit, but it was manageable. Sooner or later he had to go to Ikebukuro in order to cash out his blank check. With the Shizuo’s apartment marked with a big X, he smiled, not smirked, but actually smiled. It was going better than he had hoped. He was still alive, and now he knew that Shizuo was IT for him. It only remained to persuade his enemy into seeing that Izaya was IT for him, as well.

 ___________________________________

Once in the front of Shizuo’s door, Izaya knocked slowly. Few seconds later, he saw still half naked Shizuo staring back at him.  
“What do you want?”  
“To cash my blank check, obviously.” After hearing that Shizuo started to grind with his teeth. The murderous desire was taking hold of him again.

“You really have no shame, flee. You have five seconds to leave if you want to live. I swear to you, I will kill you.” But then, Izaya’s respond cut that time in half, as it was playing on the line of Shizuo’s patience.

“My, my, Shizu-chan, all I want is what you have promised. It’s not my fault that you are this stupid. I have always known that, but I thought that you had some principles, you know? Deal is a deal? And all that shit.”  
Shizuo was ready to snap his neck in two, but Izaya was right about one thing, deal was a deal. He promised, and his word was worth something.

“Fine. What do you want?”  
“Don’t be so angry, Shizu-chan” Izaya started “I asked for only one thing, but you know it was wherever and whenever I wanted it. So, I want to fuck with you, again, again, and again, until I grow bored of you.”

Shizuo mouth was opened, he couldn’t believe the nerve that fucking flee was having? After all of this, he wanted sex? Did he want that all along?  
“Is this a joke?” he voiced his final thought out loud.

“I don’t want to disappoint you, Shizu-chan; but sadly for you, I am being serious here. That is what I want, and if I want something I take it.” He turned around in order to leave, but on his way out, he said one more thing.  
“Come to my apartment, tomorrow night. Deal is a deal.”


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Shizuo Heiwajima was not very patient man, especially when he was angry. So, it was understandable why the number of beaten up low-lives increased considerably since Izaya’s wish has been reviled. However, in the time that was given until their next meeting, he couldn’t find any answer to the impossible situation he found himself in. Firstly, he was angry at Izaya. Secondly, he hated him as he ruined Shizuo’s life multiple times for almost ten years. Thirdly, they had sex, and it was good. Next, he liked it and wanted to do it again. Finally, even though he didn’t want to admit it, he loved him. Thus, he was confused at both his feelings, as well as about what to do. 

So, when that Friday night came, Shizuo knocked at Izaya’s door once again. After waiting for few moments and not getting any answer he decided to simply break the door. He found Izaya sitting at his couch next to the funny looking board with different game pieces on it. He came towards him when Izaya finally moved and his voice was heard.

“My, my, Shizu-chan, is it already Friday? I almost forgot that we had a meeting today.” Izaya started as always, trying to get a reaction from his enemy, to annoy him, as that was the easiest way to control the monster. Anger was easy; he knew how to deal with that. But with Shizuo involved he should have known better, as the monster has always been unpredictable, thus often ruined Izaya’s plans. One look at Shizuo’s form and Izaya knew that today was one of those days when things won’t go his way. Don’t get it wrong, he knew that Shizuo will come; he knew that fucking would take place; but he was anticipating angry looking beast not calm machine-like person that was rather coldly looking at him. The stars in his eyes that he saw that day were burning again, but the light wasn’t worm, as it was always case with Shizuo. This time those eyes looked as cold as if they were Izaya’s.

However, what surprised the informant the most weren’t the eyes that lost its warmth, but the words that Shizuo said and the tone with which he said them. “Take of you cloths.” 

Izaya didn’t move. He was a bit paralyzed but only for a second. Soon, he tried to annoy the beast again in order to put things as they should be. For Izaya it wasn’t normal to see Shizuo calm in this situation, and that needed to change. So, he tried again.

“Shizu-chan, aren’t you impatient today. You can’t just waltz in, break the door and order me around. If you keep that up, I am not sure if I want to do this today. Maybe you should go home and came back, lets see, in two days.” 

Nevertheless, Shizuo still remained calm and cold. “Stop fucking with me, and take of you clothes. You wanted to do this, not me.”

Izaya was unsatisfied with the answer so he pushed again. “But Shizu-chan, I am not really feeling it today...” and that’s when he was rudely interrupted with a strong and rough voice that was on the boarder of shouting.

“Take your fucking clothes unless you want me to rip them apart.” Izaya opened his mouth once again, the plan of annoying the enemy was starting to work, but then, he was pushed with his face down on the couch, and he could feel strong hands destroying both his shirt, as well as the pants. 

He wasn’t really complaining. After all, in the last two days he only thought about how it would feel to be fucked by Shizuo once again. However, he wanted to do it by his own rules. He wanted to rile up the enemy, stop his movements, and then, to sit on his dick until he was satisfied. After that, he would throw the monster out. In his abnormal mind that was the perfect plan of making Shizuo miss him. (A bit delusional if you ask me.)

So, Shizuo taking control was not consistent with Izaya’s plan. Ripping Izaya’s pants was not consistent with the plan. And, taking Shizuo’s huge dick from the behind was certainly NOT consistent with the plan. But, it all was a bit thrilling, and very much exciting, so Izaya tried not to protest too much. With a grin on his face he stopped his talking and simply waited to see what would the idiot do this time.

Shizuo put one of his hands in Izaya’s hair tagging it slightly. He used the other one in order to unzip his pants, and to pull out his already hard dick. The stupid thing didn’t need much these last two days. One image of Izaya in those black sheets and it was up. That fact was perhaps the greatest reason for his anger. But in his confusions he thought that dealing with this situation was something that he should do cold minded. He read that somewhere. So, he gave his best to stay unattached and to simply, perform.

Three seconds was all it took for Shizuo to try to shove his dick inside that little hole that for him was the hottest place in the world. This time there weren’t any kisses, looks in the eyes, or any “love making”. Izaya wanted fucking, and that was what Shizuo was willing to give. However, at the first push, he sensed that there was something resisting him; his dick couldn’t go in easily as the first time. That’s when he understood why Izaya was shoving up his fingers inside his ass when he entered that room. So he moved out, spited on Izaya’s ass, and then pushed two fingers in. 

It was a familiar feeling for Izaya, even though it never happened before; to have somebody else’s fingers inside. It reminded him of that perfect fullness that Shizuo’s cock made him feel. Soon- he kept thinking- just a bit longer and I will feel him filling me in.

Shizuo pulled his fingers, just in time to spit again and to replace it with something much thicker, harder, and bigger. Izaya was silent until he felt that thing pushing inside him. That is when he moaned, nearly screamed. 

Nothing that happened last time could prepare Izaya for this feeling. For once, it was different. It wasn’t gentle, but it was just as much intense, if not more. It was strong, sharp, and in one go push that made him contract his muscles around the thing inside him. 

Shizuo growled. He could have come with that first push. Izaya was more tight then before. His cold act was slipping. His anger was slipping. His mind was slipping. And everything that remained instead of the words kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill... that were often in his mind when he was with Izaya was push, soft, push, tight, push, push... so, he pushed again, and again. After every push Izaya’s voice was getting stronger, and every thrust was followed with a short scream. 

“How do you like it now, flee? Is this what you wanted? To get me to fuck you until you screamed like some bitch for me?” Another push; another scream. 

However, for Izaya the pain was barely there. He was stabbed in the stomach multiple times, that was pain. This was uncontrollable pleasure with a little bit of pain, just enough to make things more intense, more vivid. So, the screams were just the product of that pleasure, he couldn’t control them more than he could control his breathing. Not that he wanted to control them. His mind was nearly completely black, with the exception of one small conscious part which was enough to see that Shizuo was enjoying them more then he should. So, he stopped worrying, and relaxed him self a bit more. Then, he gave in to the pleasure completely. 

“Harder, monster! Fuck me harder!” He started to shout in between screams. And that was exactly what his enemy did. He pushed harder, nearly with all of his force. God, it felt good. Having Shizuo inside him was special the last time, but this time it was addictive, and even more pleasurable. 

Watching his favorite monster loosing control for him, just for him, was another fact that pushed Izaya in the direction of pleasure. And, he was hard as hell. 

Shizuo’s big cock was forcefully penetrating him, ramming inside with all of his might. His control was lost, almost as much as Shizuo’s and he didn’t even mind it a bit. It was a nice thing not worrying about anything, concentrating on nothing but strong thrusts inside him. He moaned loudly.

“Come on, slut, you can do it better. After all, everything that you wanted was for me to fuck you. Now, scream for me. Come on, scream for me!” Shizuo nearly shouted with one particularly strong push. And Izaya screamed. 

Shizuo moved his head towards Izaya’s ear. “Not enough. Tell me, who is fucking you, call my name.” Push; scream. “I said tell my name!”

“Shizu-cahn...” Izaya started. “Shizuo...”

Shizuo kept that tempo, ramming up at the tightness, forgetting his strength, and just pushing, letting it go, all the anger, all of him. He jammed as the feeling inside him was forming, the familiar one that meant coming undone. The ringing noise was there, and the second that Izaya moaned his name once again, Shizuo shot his sperm in Izaya’s ass. It was the possessiveness inside him that made him forget everything.

The other could feel it; the ticking deep inside him. The feeling when Shizuo came was like he was stabbed million times over, straight inside his core. Every cell in his body could fell it. It was more than enough to send him over the edge without one single touch to his dick. He came so hard that it felt like his was floating. Lost over somewhere, his mask cracked just for the second and he vocalized his thoughts.

“God, I love you so much.”

With the hard breathing Shizuo slowly pulled out and looked at the form beneath him. The hand moved away from Izaya’s hair and then, when the red eyes found golden ones Izaya knew how much he slipped. 

“What?” Shizuo asked. But the only answer that came was one cold “Get out.”


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

He was so much ashamed that he pleaded all the Gods to just open up the Earth beneath him and to made him disappear. He was not certain why he slipped, or how he could do it in the first place. Even though he could feel his face heating up, he was now certain that he pulled his mask back on its place, where it should be. 

“I said get out. We fucked, I am finished now. So, there is no need for you to stay here.” Izaya said in a cold tone; his smirk up on its face, like nothing happened.

“Izaya...” Shizuo wanted to know is it true what Izaya have said. He was shocked in the first place, but it could all be a consequence of sex. Perhaps, he didn’t mean it at all. Perhaps, he just loved what they did, not him. 

“I said get out. Geeeet out!!!” Izaya shouted and started to push the other’s body. However, Shizuo didn’t move an inch; he just stood there like a statue.

“Get the fuck out.” The voice was cold, not even laced with the usual playful tone, and the smirk on those lips disappeared too. He was dead serious and it didn’t leave Shizuo with many options. Thus, he just turned away and went to the door. Not another word was said and with a laud bang, Izaya was alone. 

He breathed heavily. Tears started to run on the both sides of his face. What was that? He should have just kept his mouth closed. What if he ruined everything and what if now Shizu-chan didn’t want to have anything to do with him?

He felt something wet slipping on the inside of his thighs. Shizuo’s sperm mixed with his blood was coloring his skin with pink. He smiled a bit and his voice light up now empty apartment.

“It’s so like you Shizu-chan to be a monster; my monster. All you do is ruining me, and God, I love every second of it.”

______________________________

 

Shizuo was lying on his bad heavily breathing. A dream had waked him up from the sleep. It was another one of his regular nightmares, featuring flee. However, this time it was different. Instead of his usual “chase the Izaya out of Ikebukuro” dream, it was a picture of two bodies embraced together in a heat. One was Izaya’s but the other wasn’t Shizuo’s. 

What started as a nightmare quickly turned into all consuming thought that looked like, regardless of how much Shizuo didn’t want to admit, a jealousy. Just thinking about Izaya with another man made him break the cup spilling his coffee all over him. It made him punch some idiot who owned money. And, it made him look on every man’s face that was passing by wandering if he slept with Izaya. The whole situation was ridiculous.

Izaya didn’t call, didn’t come to Ikebukuro for about a week, and Shizuo had a terrifying feeling that he won’t be seeing him any time soon. That fact just increased his paranoia and made him think that Izaya had some other lover to worm his sheets. After all, Shizuo was certain that he wasn’t his first. Flee was too much confident to that be the case. 

After another day of thinking about stupid things and feeling angry for no legitimate reason he found himself at home. With TV and cigarettes as his only company he tried not to think too much about things that were out of his control. He was only a game to Izaya and that would never change.

He dozed of on his couch when sometime around three in the morning he heard a knock on his door. Confused a little about his visitor he stood up and opened the door. On the other side of the frame he was welcomed by red eyes that belonged to a man who occupied this mind for the last week.

“What are you doing here?” he asked with a frown on his face. Then, he looked up and down, eyeing the smaller man when he noted an almost empty bottle of what looked like an expensive vodka in Izaya’s hand.

“Are you drunk?” He asked another question but didn’t get any response. 

A tiny laughing sound escaped Izaya’s lips and Shizuo moved to let him come inside. Nevertheless, as soon as Izaya came into the apartment he stated to take of his clothes. The first were the shoes, than the jacket, than his v-neck shirt, and then, Shizuo tried to stop him but it was a futile attempt. Even drunk Izaya was faster and somehow maneuvered around him and managed to lose both his socks, as well as his pants. 

His hands were now on his hips, playing slowly with the edge of his underwear. Looking directly in Shizuo’s eyes he lazily pulled them down presenting an image that looked like it was cut out from some porno magazine. His dick was already hard and leaking. It shined with the amount of precome that was gathered on the tip. 

Hand slowly moved to the pubic hair starting to brush against it. Fingers moved lower tracing the line on the hard length and at the same time Izaya’s eyes were still fixated on his.

Shizuo was so horny that it didn’t leave much place for any other emotion. The lust was all he felt and in that moment the fact that he was jealous or that Izaya was drunk weren’t that much important. He wanted him, and he wanted him badly. 

Taking two steps towards Izaya, he grabbed his enemy’s thighs, fixating his eyes on the dick between them. He wanted to taste him; to see how that shiny thing on the tip mixed with his tongue. And, that was exactly what he did. With just one lick he managed to loosen Izaya’s mouth who was now moaning shamelessly. 

“More... Shizu-chan, it is not enough for me... I want you to lick me more... I want to feel your mouth around me, inside me, everywhere.”

To Shizuo it looked like “the drunk Izaya” was the best version of Izaya. He smiled to his enemy and in a less than a second his tongue was circling around the tip of another man’s cock. He has never done this before to anyone but the informant. For him it was too gross to even think about it, but with Izaya it was different. He wanted to lick it, kiss it, touch it, and trace the lines of it with his mouth. So, he did all of these things, one after another, never stopping for a moment.

Izaya just moaned; his red eyes now completely closed. Blinded with want, Shizuo took the thing into his mouth and started to suck it hard. He desired him so much that it hurt inside his pants. Hence, he unzipped them, pulling out his erection and tracing it with his hand in slow motions. The tempo was the same as the one he was offering to Izaya’s cock. 

God, how much he wanted to feel the other’s heat again. So, as a result, he pushed Izaya towards the couch, making him turn around so his back was faced to him. The man’s knees were on the soft surface and his hands were neatly placed on the cushions that were on the backrest. He was perfectly spread, ass dangling up in the air. 

Shizuo lowered himself to his knees and put both of his hands on the ass cheeks. With the gentle motion of his tongue he started to lick Izaya’s entrance. The bitter taste that this enemy had was exactly how he pictured it would taste. Bitterness with a just a hint of sweetness on his tongue was the hottest thing he ever tried. So, he licked again, and again. Then, he started to trace down the rim of the hole, sucking it. 

Izaya’s voice was so laud, moaning for him not to stop. “God, Shizu-chan, it is so good...Ahhh... Push your tongue inside.” Thus, Shizuo shoved his tongue inside, and started to move in circles. He was kissing the hole as if was the mouth that he dreamed about so many times. He didn’t want to stop, it felt so good.

“More, Shizu-chan, give me more, I want everything...” To Izaya the tongue was not enough; he wanted fingers inside him; he wanted that hot dick that belonged to the man he loved since the first time he saw him. Hence, he voiced a satisfying moan when he felt the finger entering him alongside the tongue that didn’t move out. The finger wiggled inside him, touching his inner walls, when another one joined inside. 

“Aaaah... God, it is so good, please don’t stop...”

Then, the fingers inside him moved a little finding something and pressing it, when Izaya screamed in pleasure. The white was all he could see and it was so intense that he wanted to feel it again.

“Again, do it again”- and Shizuo did it again. With painfully hard dick he barely controlled himself not to rush in and just fuck that tiny hole until he was satisfied, like he did it last time. However, he wanted it so much that one word from Izaya was enough to break his resolve.

“Inside; I want your dick inside. I want you to bury it inside to the hilt. I want you to shove it so hard that I cannot walk for another week. I want you to tear me inside. I want you to push it again and again. I want to come with your dick inside me. I want you, Shizu-chan... God, I want you so much...”

And then, Shizuo pulled his tongue and his fingers from the ass that felt so empty to the both of them. But, soon he jammed his dick in it with the one fast movement. And he was buried deep inside the heat that surrounded him. 

He quickly found the place which made Izaya scream and angled his hips in that direction. The effect was immediate. The moan that looked like a cry left the other’s mouth.

“There. Shizu-chan, fuck me there...harder, come on; give it to me harder... Aaaaah...” Izaya left another moan, then another. 

Shizuo continued to assault the hole that was around him pushing his cock in the direction that seamed to do wonders for Izaya. The bubble inside him signalized that he was about to come. Not even two minutes passed since he entered him. God, it was so fast that it wasn’t enough for him. He collected all of his strength in order to control the building orgasm that threatened to end this bliss he found himself in.

Just a bit more, he tried to tell himself. But, Izaya’s voice was so loud and he started to squeeze around Shizuo. So, he stopped his movement. It seamed that Izaya didn’t like that one bit. He turned around showing his enemy just how much he wanted him. 

His face was flushed; eyes barely open, but shiny with desire. His mouth was red and Shizuo wanted to kiss it. The drop of sweat was tickling on his neck. He breathed hard. The blond was so much infatuated with the way he looked that it was all surreal. 

Then, Izaya moved from the couch, and stepped around Shizuo. He pushed the other man making him sit down and put his legs around him, placing himself on the other’s lap. 

“Shizu-chan, I want to feel you more.” He said and took the other’s dick in his hand. He placed it on the edge of his entrance and just slid down making both of them moan.

He kissed the man that was inside him wildly. It was like a fight with tongues and bites. He wanted to have him, his monster, to posses every cell of that body. So, he kissed hard, wanting to let the other know how much he needed him. 

Izaya moved up and down, impaling himself over and over on the cock that was so hard that he felt it inside his stomach. He moaned loudly, shamelessly even. 

“Ahh... Shizu-chan, you are so big... It feels so good when you are like this inside me... Fuck more; push it more, give me all of you...” 

And Shizuo pushed more, taking the hips of other man in order to drive him towards him. They met in the middle of every thrust; one pushing up, and the other pushing down. The slapping sound of skin to skin, Izaya’s moans and Shizuo’s growls were the only things that could be heard in that tiny apartment. 

They moved simultaneously, like it was a dance that they played. They were close, the both of them, and they could feel that. 

“Come on, Shizu-chan, touch my dick and tell me you are mine. You already know that I am yours. Say my name...” And Shizuo did. With the other’s dick in his hand, he started to jerk up and down. The name rolled on his tongue at the same time when Izaya started to shout Shizuo’s name, too. 

“Aaaah...Shizuo...”  
“Izaya...”  
“Shizuo...”  
“Izaya...”

And that was more then enough for one to fill the other, exploding at the same time, pushing as deep as it was possible.

Izaya didn’t want to let go. With his enemy still inside him, he just put his head on Shizuo’s shoulder and closed his eyes, letting sleep take him over.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The morning Sun came rushing thru the window. For a second Izaya didn’t know where he was, or why he was there. Then the memories came crashing his mind. 

'Inside; I want your dick inside. I want you to bury it inside to the hilt. I want you to shove it so hard that I cannot walk for another week. I want you to tear me inside. I want you to push it again and again. I want to come with your dick inside me. I want you, Shizu-chan... God, I want you so much...'

Fuck. His face was already red. He could blame it all on the alcohol. But it was really his own fault. No one made him drink that expensive shitty vodka last night. He was drunk of his mind if he thought that it was a good idea to voice his own thoughts out loud. Even to himself he sounded like same cheep prostitute wanting a dick. Fuck. He wasn’t even sure how he managed to embarrass him self that much.

He took a look around. The last thing he remembered was asking Shizu-chan to fuck him harder. That was on the couch. So, how he was in the bed? And, is that Shizu-chan’s arm over his still naked body? He must have carried Izaya here after he fell asleep still clenching around dick that was inside him. Fuck again.

His chicks are even redder now. He looked down on his tights. There were no sperm, no blood there. He wasn’t sure if Shizuo managed to tear him up again. It was a possibility to say at least. After all, he was big, and they didn’t use the lube, again. Not that he minded that. It hurt a bit, but pain was nothing in comparison to the pleasure that he always felt with Shizuo filling him in. He must have cleaned him. Fuck. He was even more embarrassed now. The redness on his face couldn’t get any brighter.

He looked at Shizuo’s face. He was sleeping peacefully. It was a surreal feeling, looking at a man who was always angry, always full of emotion, now just having a blank expression, closed eyes, and slightly open mouth. He looked like he was just a human. However, to Izaya he could never be just something; not when he was everything. That made him feel guilty. It was an unknown emotion to him. He almost never felt regret. And now, after seeing Shizuo lying next to him, he knew that it wasn’t right what he did. It wasn’t right to lie, plan, and scheme about something that was suppose to be pure. He remembered the first time they fucked (made love). He shouldn’t have made Shizuo sleep with him. He felt disgusting to himself. 

So, he gently took away the hand that was embracing him, stood up from the bed, and went in the direction of his clothes. This whole thing needed to end. Shizu-chan deserved better; a chance to find someone who was nice, not someone damaged like him. He thought about some pretty girl hugging Shizuo, of them laughing, being happy, and it made him feel a painful tightening in his chest. Hate needed to be enough for him. Thus, he put on his clothes and with it he put on his usual mask. With a fake smirk on his face, Izaya left the apartment.

_____________________

Few hours later Shizuo woke up in an empty bed. Of course that Izaya was gone. What else did he expect? For flee it was all a game. A single thought of the informant in his arms after he fell asleep was rushing thru his mind. Then he thought about someone else’s hands around him, and the anger already took over. But still, he was happy that at least he got that much out of him. A simple chance to keep him close was enough. Beggars cannot be choosers. He felt like a dog that was waving his tail after getting thrown a peace of bread; still hungry but happy for the attention that his master was giving to him. He wanted to kill him self for feeling this much of self-pity. 

So he stood up in order to get to the shower. He felt dirty. After all, he only wiped out his dick last night. Then, he felt his chest contracting with a single thought of blood that was mixed up with his semen in Izaya’s ass and on his tights. 

He was so stupid. He should have had the right amount of mind to use the fucking lube. He asked himself if Izaya was always left a bit bloody after these encounters that they had. And, it made him feel like the worst shit ever. It must have hurt like hell, but the informant hasn’t complained once about it. He would need to get the lube for the next time, and to rent some fucking gay porn to see if he was doing everything right. Just a thought of the pharmacist and the rent out guy looking at him with judgment, made him grant his teeth. It was going to be embarrassing but it needed to be done.

Later that day, on his way back from the horrifying encounters that he had, he managed to catch a glimpse of something black with fur; Izaya. So, he started to move in his direction. He called out and flee turned. Just for a second he looked like a dear caught in a light. However, the expression on his face was replaced with the usual smirk just as soon.

“Shizu-chan, acting civilized this time; no wending machines, no stop-signs.” The little shit acted as if nothing happened in the last two weeks. Shizuo just geared at him. 

“I missed you this morning. Next time don’t just sneak out like that...” but he was soon interrupted with a voice that was cold yet falsely charming.

“Next time? There won’t be a next time, Shizu-chan. The deal is off. Now if you would excuse me. I am on my way to met someone.” Izaya just turned around and started to walk in the direction of the black car that was parked down the street. Shizuo stood there, looking like he was slapped on the face. He could almost feel the hand around his heart tightening, suffocating him. 

For some unknown reason to him, his vision was getting blurry and he could feel the wetness on his cheeks. It must be the rain, but the rain didn’t start. He looked at Izaya now talking with the man in the car. He was leaning to the back-door window smiling. He was certain then and there that flee had left him because he was having something with this man. He must be the one that was sleeping with Izaya. 

The anger was all consuming. His mind was blank with one thought, and one thought only; kill, kill, kill. 

________________________

Izaya felt like shit, but the job was a job. He was leaning in on the car, talking to Shiki-san, just getting ready to come inside when he heard the crashing sound. In a blink of an eye he turned around just in time to see Shizu-chan picking up the red car parked next to him, wiggling it over the head and throwing it in his direction. Thank God that Shiki-san opened the door and Izaya walked inside. In the moment he thought that he would die for real, but the chauffeur stepped on the gas and the car started to move. That was close. 

“Orihara-san, you should be more careful in dealings with Heiwajima-san. One of these days we might need to be arranging a funeral.”

Izaya wasn’t sure if it was a threat for Shizuo, or a well-indented advise for him, but he just smiled the best he could, still maintaining the mask on his face and asked about the case.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 

Jealousy is a funny thing. It makes us do irrational things. So, when Shizuo decided that he is going to kill Shiki-san and the entire Awakusu-kai if needed was not something unexpected. Armed with a cold-blooded anger and with a desire to destroy for taking what was his, he went in the direction of upscale office building. 

He wasn’t stupid. Shizuo knew whose car that was last night, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to rest until all yakuza bastards are dead. Before he knew what he was doing, he was already punching the guy at the door. Next, he was hitting and kicking a bunch of people headed in his direction. Two minutes hadn’t past and he was already in front of the Shiki-san’s office. 

Then, he felt it; a gunshot wound in his leg. He ignored it and moved closer to the man sitting behind the desk. Another shot was fired. The bullet pierced through his shoulder.

He turned around only to be greeted with a group of people pointing guns at his face. 

“Now, now, can this shooting stop already? My head is starting to hurt” this guy Shiki began to talk. However, Shizuo didn’t want to stop. All consuming anger and jealousy took his rational part of the brain and flushed it down the drain. So, he rushed at the group in front him, earning another two shots. This time the target was his other leg. 

“I said stop. Restrain him and take him to the 1B location.” It was a secret code for the garage somewhere in Shinjuku, which Shizuo later found out. However, at that moment he was starting to lose his conscience. The beast dropped to his knees, and the last thing he saw was someone’s hand punching him in the face.

_________________

 

He woke up bound to the chair and alone in some rusty place. All of him was hurting and he could still feel bullets inside his legs and in his shoulder. There were voices around him, perhaps in another room. He couldn’t see anyone. Nevertheless, he could hear something that he identified as Shiki’s voice, but there was another. When he recognized that sound, his heart skipped a beat. It was Izaya. 

“As I already said, Shiki-san, I won’t be taking that case. There isn’t any point in asking me again. It is just against my nature. I am sure that you know how much I love all humans, and I could never kill one of them, not to mention the entire organization.”

The other voice replied something, but it wasn’t important to Shizuo. He wanted to hear more of Izaya. For God’s sake, even if he was about to die, he was happy that at least he could hear the man that he loved one more time.

“I understand that this new yakuza group is a menace to Awakusu-kai, but I am an information broker, not an assassin. You can threat me all you want but I won’t be changing my mind”.

“Then, perhaps a gift for a job well-done. You can get to be the one who kills Shizuo Heiwajima” the other voice said “after all, he is tied up in the next room like a dog waiting for his death.”

There was a silence; then the footsteps. Someone was coming in Shizuo’s direction. Just a second later, golden eyes met the red ones. 

The absence of sound was so heavy and the world lost its purpose. It was like they were the only two people in the entire planet. And Shizuo could see the mask cracking, a fear in red eyes. 

“I will do it if you let Shizu-chan go.”

__________________

Shizuo couldn’t remember much after that. At some point he woke up again, still in the garage. However, this time he was tied up to a bed, with bandages around his shoulder, and legs. He tried to break free. Nevertheless, his strength abandoned him. He wasn’t sure how many days had pasted but he felt better; sleepy but better. Soon after, he lost his conscience again. 

He didn’t see Izaya for at least two days, and if he wasn’t drugged and restrained, he would look for him. Seeing Izaya’s fear made him afraid for the said man. He didn’t want him to kill anyone for his sake, and even worse, that whole job sounded dangerous. He didn’t wish something to happen to Izaya. He would die without his existence in life. It didn’t matter if he had someone else, or if it was all a game to the informant. Shizuo just wanted him alive and happy. Moreover, the fact that the other man felt hatred for him was also irrelevant, even if he would call him a monster his entire life. The only thing that was important to Shizuo was Izaya, and he loved him enough for the both of them. 

The door opened. Someone was coming inside. For a second Shizuo didn’t recognize the man that was walking in his direction. His clothes were covered in blood, face painted in red, hands entirely wrapped with the same sustenance. The man that was approaching him could not be described as anything else but the devil himself. Shiny red eyes gleamed in the darkness of the room. Wait; red eyes.

“Izaya”

“Come on, Shizu-chan, there is no time for this.” He said while slicing the rope connecting Shizuo to the bed. His knees felt weak as he tried to stand up. Gently, a hand soaked in blood moved around his waist. He cursed the Awakusu-kai, this Shiki guy, and his own existence for being so stupid that Izaya had to do this; kill in order to save him. The fact that he was drugged as an elephant wasn’t much comforting to him. 

The hand leaded him to through the open door into the fresh air. The same black car that he saw few days ago was parked on the street. Izaya opened the door and helped him inside. After that he joined him. The only person in there was some guy who drove the thing. 

Shizuo wanted to ask so many questions. He wanted to know what was the price that Izaya had to pay for his stupidity; and why was he afraid? Why did he save him if everything was just a game? But he kept his mouth shut. After all, watching those red eyes was nice. It was more than he could ask for.

Twenty minutes later the car stopped. He knew that place. They were in front of Izaya’s apartment building. Next few moments were rushed and just like that they were in a familiar room. 

“What did you do?” Shizuo first broke the silence. He couldn’t wait any longer. The dread inside his chest was so painful. He needed to know. Nevertheless, the answer never came. 

“I need a shower” was all Izaya responded and moved in the direction of the bathroom. After taking a few steps he turned around. “Are you coming?” 

And Shizuo followed, looking at the blood-drenched beck that belonged to the man that he loved.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 

After clothes were peeled, the only thing that remained were two naked bodies in the tiny space under the shower. The drops hit shoulders, faces, and hair and in their way down they rinsed blood. The water under their feet was slightly red; but that was not where Shizuo’s eyes lingered the most. Even now he was powerless against the heart that kept beating loud in his chest. He couldn’t help but think about the last time when Izaya decided that it was a good idea to take of his clothes in front of him. 

So, he tried not to look at Izaya’s body; not to touch him; not to trace its lines with his fingers. Instead, he looked at the red eyes in front of him, now completely closed. He looked at the slightly open mouth that called him as if begging to be kissed. Nevertheless, this moment they were in was not about that.

“Izaya...” he started “I...” but the words lost their meaning. What he felt, what he wanted to ask, couldn’t be asked or told with words, so he just closed his eyes and hugged the body in front of him. 

Izaya started to shake. The warmth of the shower and the warmth of those strong arms around him was all consuming, was comforting, but to him it felt as if he was now more broken then after million street fights, thousand wending machines and trash cans thrown at him. It felt like some part of him wasn’t there anymore.

“Don’t. I don’t deserve it. For fuck’s sake... I... I have no right to want anything. I am fucking hypocrite...” the voice was shaky, almost silent and without the usual spark; just plain old words echoing in the tiled laced bathroom. Every word that left his mouth put another crack on the already broken mask that he used to wear. In that particular moment of time, he felt naked both body and soul. 

A hand moved from his back to the face, moving the chin upwards, making Izaya look into the stars of another’s eyes. The red was glassy. The long lashes couldn’t create enough of a shadow that would be able to hide the fact that he was on the edge of tears. As soon as Shizuo blinked the red eyes were closed again. 

“Don’t. Please don’t look at me.” and he turned around, not wanting Shizuo to see the moment of his weakness. He was broken. He wasn’t any more the person that he used to be. He could never say again that he loved all humans equally; not when he truly loved only one. 

And he couldn’t even try to defend himself about it. Shizuo was human, not a monster. That was painfully clear when he saw him tied up, bleeding; when he realized that the other could die easily. But that wasn’t the worst. 

He would do it again and again if necessary. In his life Shizuo was the most important, more important that his principles, more important then his pride, more important then Izaya himself. He would gladly kill every man or woman; fuck, even every child if that meant Shizuo would keep breathing. It was disturbing. It was selfish. It was wrong. But it wasn’t by far the worst. 

To Izaya, the worst thing about this whole situation he found himself in was the fact that he could not hold back anymore. The vague picture in his mind of a nice girl and family for Shizuo, not for himself, just for Shizuo; was crumbling. That girl was not something that he could allow; not now, not ever; not even after his own death. Shizuo was his and his alone. If blond wouldn’t want him anymore, he was certain that the both of them would be as dead as those who he killed few hours ago. The idea of murder-suicide was disgusting, but the thought that he would do it was terrifying. For the first time in his life he wanted something so much that even the love that he had was not enough for him to stop being selfish. 

Izaya was darkness, and everything that he touched corrupted easily. He didn’t want to corrupt Shizuo. He was pure, honest; he was real. He didn’t want to destroy his life, as there wasn’t any good thing that he could give to the other. Even unknowingly he offered his body, soul, love, pride, moral, (what moral?), principles, life... And it wasn’t enough. The world wouldn’t be enough. But he was selfish. He couldn’t give what Shizuo deserved. He couldn’t give him the peace and he couldn’t give him a family. And yet, he could not ever let go of him. 

The tears were now falling down his cheeks; eyes still closed. He felt a hand around his chest, moving, holding him. The ruff yet gentle voice was near his ear and he could hear the pain behind it. 

“I am sorry that I made you do that. I...” and Izaya sobbed.

“I didn’t want you to...” another sob.

“You should have just let them kill me...” sob.

The idiot was thinking that it was about that. He needed to know. Shizuo couldn’t keep blaming himself for this, so Izaya started, voice broken.

“The blood, the look in their eyes; it was terrifying. I just needed to get the information hidden in the safe. But they were there. They wouldn’t leave it unguarded. I knew that. I needed to kill them. But, Shizu-chan...” another sob “that was not why...” sob. 

He couldn’t continue. The tears felt heavy, and he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t, but he needed to voice out the most disgusting thing that made him human and he needed to voice it out loud. 

It wasn’t about ego. It wasn’t about the pride. It wasn’t about making his soul visible for all to see. It was about fear that he would not ever be enough to make Shizuo happy, that HE wouldn’t be enough. So, he cried and there was nothing left but to tell the truth and keep being the selfish little shit he has always been.

“I would do it again; for you. I would do everything again for you. Fuck. I would die for you. But I... I... I don’t want you to live without me... I...” the words were broken. Many things were left unspoken, so he continued even though his heart burned with the dread. 

“I love you so much that I don’t want you to breath without me, I don’t want you to exist without me. I want you to be happy, but I want you to be happy only with me. However, I know that I won’t ever be enough. I will just destroy...”

“Stop.” He could feel a breath on his back. The water kept falling; it kept mixing with his tears, and the hands around his chest never let go. 

Shizuo continued. “I don’t want to; I won’t; I couldn’t live without you. Never; it’s just you and me; us. Even before, when I didn’t know what I felt for you; it was there. I loved you since the beginning. And I won’t ever stop; and I won’t ever leave you. When you go, I will go with you; and when you die, I will die with you.”

Shizuo lowered his lips and pressed it to the back that was trembling alongside his heart. He hugged the other’s body a little stronger. “Please, don’t cry. It is hurting me.”

The tears went down even faster but Izaya was smiling now. “Don’t you dare to let me go.” And both of them knew that Izaya wasn’t talking about arms that kept him in place. 

He put everything on the line; his feelings, his ego, his pride, his love, his body, his life; everything for Shizuo. After all, every one of those things has always been Shizuo’s. However, now there wasn’t any possibility of turning beck; not that he wanted to. 

What he said was the naked truth and it made him vulnerable and without any control. But it was the truth. He has always belonged to Shizuo; he has always been his to do whatever he wanted to do with him even though he liked to pretend that it was the other way around. 

“I won’t. I won’t ever let you go.” The trail of weak open mouth kisses was drawn on Izaya’s skin. The hand didn’t move from another’s chest, but both tears and the water stopped running. A white fluffy towel was wrapped around Izaya’s body, and he finally turned around. Eyes without any masks, any games, any pretending were looking at Shizuo, and he couldn’t help but smile as he dived into the most beautiful soul bared naked for him; a soul that existed for him, and that was only his. 

“I love you.” 

He took Izaya in his arms and walked out from the bathroom into the direction of worm bed. Shizuo’s mind was filled with one thought and one thought only; love.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

That day was an important moment in famous informant’s life. It was a day when Izaya for the first time ever showed his ugly human side to someone else. And surprisingly for him, he was not rejected. So, when he found himself naked both body and soul next to the man he loved with all of his heart he felt as if he was the luckiest creature alive. Something inside him broke but the feeling wasn’t bad; it wasn’t wrong; he just wasn’t used to it. 

It felt odd thinking that he was loved in the return. And, even if he wasn’t God to all of his humans, he was the most important person to someone who meant a world to him. Thus, while he looked in the stars of Shizuo’s eyes he was fully aware that it was a place where he belonged. 

Strong arms never left his body; they were hugging him as if he was a precious thing. They made him feel safe. However, at the same time he couldn’t help but want more. He wanted Shizuo in every way possible. His hands traced the lines of other’s existence in the most intimate and in the most primitive of ways; never stopping and always traveling further. 

Hot breath on his neck was a dream that took him over all borders. Shizuo’s whispers so close to his skin were sending shivers down his spine. He wanted to link their bodies, to feel the connection even deeper. He wanted Shizuo, and the hardness of other’s length was a perfect giveaway that the blond wanted him as well.

There wasn’t any pause, and as though it was all an old black and white movie their lips finally met gently exploring, finding meaning in life. Tongues traced the lines of lips, teeth bit and heat flooded all of his senses. 

When the blond sucked the lines of his neck listening to the pulse of his heart Izaya moaned. 

“Please, Shizu-chan...I need to feel you, now.” It was a plea and it was an order. Soft volume of his voice said more then the words itself. However, Shizuo didn’t move, didn’t even blink.

“I don’t want to hurt you, not ever again.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Last time, when we... There was blood... and I...” Shizuo looked so cute with his worried expression, and the other couldn’t stop the smile that was sneaking up on the edges of his lips. 

“It doesn’t hurt. And we are past that anyway. All I want is to feel you; few blood drops here and there are ridiculously low price to pay for it.”

“No.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Izaya was almost laughing as he opened the first drawer of his dresser and thrown a black expensive looking tube with gold letters. 

“Oh. Has the pharmacist lady looked you funny as well?”

“No, I ordered it online.”

Shizuo’s expression was priceless, but Izaya wanted to feel him and nothing could stop the emptiness that he felt without him; not even the desire to tease the other. 

“Please don’t make me beg for it.”

Shizuo’s hands were shaky, but the face heated a little. And then, he smiled. It was the prettiest thing Izaya has ever seen. He kissed soft lips again when he felt wet fingers tracing the rim of his entrance. There wouldn’t be much foreplay, or much teasing. The desire to become one was stronger than any other they ever felt. 

A finger slipped inside him, gently pushing, coating Izaya’s inner walls; cuddling them. Then, another finger joined. This didn’t last more then few moments anyway; whispers and quiet moans telling Shizuo to hurry. He put lube on himself squishing harder then he needed and slowly pushed inside the warmth. 

Shizuo didn’t stop until he was buried as deep as he could; hushed breaths escaping his mouth; watery eyes and big smile decorating his face. He could stay like this forever; it was about pleasure; but even more, it was about belonging, being one. 

He started to move, in and out while feeling Izaya tightening around him, as if he didn’t want to ever let go of the other. He was opening up to the hardness that was inside him; and Shizuo pushed again still looking at the red lights that illuminated his existence; another push.

“Please, don’t stop. I want to feel you like this forever.”

“I won’t.”

Then, another push; thrusts kept following; each stronger then the previous one, but still slow, still gentle. Moans filled the room, and Izaya was being hugged yet again. He felt Shizuo’s chest pressing hard against him; Shizuo’s arms on his back pulling him towards, linking their souls even more. They were so close that he could hear the other’s heart beating for him, living for him. He didn’t mind that his own heart also had another purpose, another owner. It belonged to the blond.

Another push; the slapping of the skin could be heard. They were so close, they were one. 

“You know, I think that I loved you since the moment I have met you.” Izaya stated, half moaned really. But it was a truth and he knew that Shizuo knew; nevertheless, it was something that he needed to say.

“Yea?”

“Yea. And I know that I will love you always, even after I am dead.”

“Yea? And I will chase you forever; I will forever walk beside you; never leaving your side.”

“I know.”

Another push; Bodies and souls were intertwined, merged, and the both of them felt complete. Shizuo was filling his cold heart with heat, his lonely soul with love, and his insides with strength. 

Another push; another growl; another moan. It felt like they were making love for hours. Just two of them in the entire world; never wanting to stop; never wanting to let go.

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep going.” Shizuo said.

“It’s ok, just don’t ever pull away.”

Shizuo pushed hard, harder then before; his movement getting uncontrolled. The thrusts were faster, more rampant. Izaya moaned louder, still don’t closing his eyes as if he was afraid that it was all a dream and that he may wake up every second. Shizuo’s name was on his lips as his arms hugged with all of his might; as his dick was spilling out; as his orgasm exploded; as he clenched hard around the other’s cock; as Shizuo was filling him as well with his own hot essence.

And Izaya wasn’t sure, and he didn’t even know what he did in order to deserve this happiness. He didn’t know how, and it didn’t even matter; but he succeeded in persuading his enemy that there was something inside him that was worth loving.


End file.
